I always look forward to dates with my husband but this particular one will be unique. On September 30th Ken and I will be going for DBS surgery. Now I know it may seem unusual for me to refer to this event as "us" having it done, but in my heart this is how I feel. I know Ken is the one with Parkinson's, the one who has gone through all the medication and testing rituals. He is the one having surgery, but I am his partner. Even though I may not be in the procedure with him and I can't possibly understand what he goes through day to day, I am and always will be his soulmate.
I have found these past few weeks to be very emotional. I see the strength that Ken has in dealing with all this preparation and I only hope I can offer the same strength to him. I have dealt with some very difficult situations in the past but none comes close to this. As a couple we will face this how we have any other obstacle, together.
Ann
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
A partner's view of DBS
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ann Glowienke the other half of Focus on a Cure. I wanted to start my own blog from my perspective on Ken's upcoming DBS surgery.
I must admit that I knew someday surgery would be the next step but I couldn't have been any less prepared to hear those words the day the Neurologist told us it was time. I remember it like it was yesterday.
We were sitting in her office going through the usual questions, joking about Ken's addictive mirapex induced behavior and then WHAM "you need to see Dr. Verhagen" (the DBS surgeon) I wasn't sure what to try to hide first, my jaw dropping wide open or the tears welling up it my eyes. I knew this was not the time for my emotions to run wild and that I needed to be strong for Ken.
I sat and listened to the rest of what the doctor had to say, asked a few questions and prepared in my head what our conversation would be on the way home. I knew how scared I was and I could only imagine Ken's fear as well.
We were pretty quiet walking out to the car trying to digest what we had just been told. On the way home Ken asked me "so what do you think" I immediately answered "if this is the next step and it will help you, I'm in"
I began researching the procedure, side effects and risks. I wanted to know as much as possible. We have gone to both appointments with the doctors that will be performing the procedure.I felt very positive after having the chance to meet them both and discuss the details. At this point I am as comfortable as I am going to be.
If I said I wasn't terrified I would be lying. I ask a million questions to myself everyday. I often watch Ken and wonder will he be the same? I tell myself everything is going to be fine because we have a mission to find a cure, and we are not there yet. This is probably one of the most frightening experiences of my life. I am so excited for Ken and the chance for him to be tremor free. I see him struggle everyday and nothing hurts my heart more. I know this is not about me but we are a package deal. It is very hard as his partner not being able to help him. It it extremely frustrating knowing there is nothing I can do. I am so proud of Ken,as he continues to fight this horrible disease with integrity.
I am so lucky to have Ken as my partner and best friend. I will always support him and be here for him in ANY capacity he needs me to be. I am looking forward to this surgery and the benefits it will offer him. From the time Ken was diagnosed I never thought twice about what we would do to help find a cure. Starting the Focus on a Cure Foundation for Parkinson's is one of my greatest achievements marrying Ken is the other.
Keep us in your thoughts,
Ann
"True love is like a tattoo, it lasts forever" AG 2008
I must admit that I knew someday surgery would be the next step but I couldn't have been any less prepared to hear those words the day the Neurologist told us it was time. I remember it like it was yesterday.
We were sitting in her office going through the usual questions, joking about Ken's addictive mirapex induced behavior and then WHAM "you need to see Dr. Verhagen" (the DBS surgeon) I wasn't sure what to try to hide first, my jaw dropping wide open or the tears welling up it my eyes. I knew this was not the time for my emotions to run wild and that I needed to be strong for Ken.
I sat and listened to the rest of what the doctor had to say, asked a few questions and prepared in my head what our conversation would be on the way home. I knew how scared I was and I could only imagine Ken's fear as well.
We were pretty quiet walking out to the car trying to digest what we had just been told. On the way home Ken asked me "so what do you think" I immediately answered "if this is the next step and it will help you, I'm in"
I began researching the procedure, side effects and risks. I wanted to know as much as possible. We have gone to both appointments with the doctors that will be performing the procedure.I felt very positive after having the chance to meet them both and discuss the details. At this point I am as comfortable as I am going to be.
If I said I wasn't terrified I would be lying. I ask a million questions to myself everyday. I often watch Ken and wonder will he be the same? I tell myself everything is going to be fine because we have a mission to find a cure, and we are not there yet. This is probably one of the most frightening experiences of my life. I am so excited for Ken and the chance for him to be tremor free. I see him struggle everyday and nothing hurts my heart more. I know this is not about me but we are a package deal. It is very hard as his partner not being able to help him. It it extremely frustrating knowing there is nothing I can do. I am so proud of Ken,as he continues to fight this horrible disease with integrity.
I am so lucky to have Ken as my partner and best friend. I will always support him and be here for him in ANY capacity he needs me to be. I am looking forward to this surgery and the benefits it will offer him. From the time Ken was diagnosed I never thought twice about what we would do to help find a cure. Starting the Focus on a Cure Foundation for Parkinson's is one of my greatest achievements marrying Ken is the other.
Keep us in your thoughts,
Ann
"True love is like a tattoo, it lasts forever" AG 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
